Bella isn’t quite old enough to have a good understanding of humanity, so I asked her great grandma Beatrix for her view on what she has witnessed during her life. You’ll notice where Bella gets her character. Enjoy 😉.
How Humans Evolve (Sort Of) — from their best friend’s point of view..
Humans are weird. I’ve been studying my specimen for years, and I’ve figured it out: they used to survive by running fast, fighting, and not eating things that would make them sick. Simple. Logical. Neat. Then… things got complicated.
Now, they survive by clicking on screens, staring at little glowing boxes, and debating whether a plant-based burger counts as real food. They don’t chase anything except Wi-Fi signals and the occasional fleeting sense of purpose. Apparently, brains matter more than brawn now. Who knew?
And their mating rituals? Don’t get me started. They’ve swapped a good, honest sniff for apps, social rules, and awkward rituals involving overpriced coffee. I can still smell their instincts — they’re there, buried under layers of anxiety and brunch menus — but they’ve forgotten how to use them. Evolution used to be about survival and puppies. Now, from what I can gather, it’s all about ideas, gadgets, and this thing they keep muttering about: relevance. It’s like a magic bone that everyone’s chasing.
The strangest part? They’ve built themselves a world where the rules don’t make sense. With medicine, cosy chairs , and AI assistants, even the slowest, clumsiest humans get to thrive. Meanwhile, their ideas are the ones fighting for survival, scrambling for space in their heads like I scramble for the last piece of bacon. Only the cleverest, most stubborn ideas stick. I call it memetic snarfing. Humans survive by copying, tweaking , and hoarding the best concepts.
And now they’re teaming up with machines. They act like it’s a grand partnership, but it looks a lot like my relationship with the vacuum cleaner: chaotic, mostly hilarious , and occasionally brilliant. Soon , heir survival won’t depend on running fast, eating right , or even thinking well — it’ll depend on how well they can merge with these whirring, blinking contraptions they built.
So here’s the new rule, as far as I can tell: humans thrive if they’re relevant. If they’re obsolete, forgetful or boring, they get left behind — kind of like that squeaky toy under the sofa I haven’t thought about in a month.
In short: humans have stepped out of nature’s arena and into their own weird playground. Their genes gave them the body, but their ideas, gadgets, and obsession with relevance are now calling the shots. Me? I’ll be on the rug, supervising. Judging. And definitely stealing snacks when they’re not looking. Some things, thankfully, never evolve.
Doggy bits.
1. “Humans evolved legs; now they evolve algorithms. I still prefer the legs.”
2. “Relevance is the new bone — fetch it or get left behind.”
3. “They invented AI. I invented nap time. Both are equally vital.”
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