Something New Every Day

Stories and essays on identity, creative thought, and everyday common sense.

The improbable potato farmer

Once upon a time, a humble potato farmer discovered a magical portal at the bottom of his field. One day, curiosity got the better of him, and he stepped through, finding himself in a parallel universe ruled by sentient vegetables. To his dismay, he found out that the only way back to his own universe was through a portal in the mad King’s castle, so with the help of his newfound carrot and broccoli allies, he embarked on a quest to overthrow the tyrannical reign of the Cauliflower King and restore harmony to the vegetable kingdom. Along the way, they encountered flying peas, talking tomatoes, and a cabbage wizard who didn’t like blondes, but they didn’t have the power to overthrow the king’s army which consisted of conscripted brussel sprouts. In the end, it was the farmer’s love for his potatoes that saved the day, as he unearthed the ultimate weapon: a potato-powered cannon capable of defeating the Cauliflower King and his army, bringing peace to the land of vegetables once more. Only then did he say goodbye to his new friends and return home to harvest his crop of real potatoes.


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