You can know an awful lot of information and still not be the best person to help because you know your limits and boundaries. Ben understood that and lived his life accordingly.
Ben’s story.
Ben had always been the go-to person in his circle of friends and colleagues. Whether it was advice on a work project, help with a personal issue, or just someone to bounce ideas off, people knew they could count on Ben. However, over the years, he realised that not all help was good help. This led him to develop a guiding principle for his interactions, inspired by a speech he once heard about knowing who you can help, who you can’t help, and who you don’t want to help.
Ben had always been the go-to person in his circle of friends and colleagues. Whether it was advice on a work project, help with a personal issue, or just someone to bounce ideas off, people knew they could count on Ben. However, over the years, he realised that not all help was good help. This led him to develop a guiding principle for his interactions, inspired by a speech he once heard about knowing who you can help, who you can’t help, and who you don’t want to help.
One sunny afternoon, Ben received a call from his friend Sarah. She was in the midst of a career transition and felt lost. Ben, with his knack for professional guidance, was eager to help. They met at a local coffee shop, and over the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, Ben listened intently to Sarah’s concerns. He provided her with insights, suggested networking opportunities, and helped her map out a plan. Sarah left feeling empowered and clear-headed.
A few days later, Ben’s cousin, Mark, reached out. Mark had been struggling with severe anxiety and depression. While Ben wanted to help, he knew this was beyond his expertise. He gently explained to Mark that professional therapy was the best path forward, and he offered to help find a good therapist. Mark appreciated the honesty and the assistance in finding professional help, understanding that Ben’s refusal to step beyond his expertise was an act of care.
One evening, Ben received an unexpected message from an old acquaintance, Jake. Jake had a history of questionable activities and was seeking advice on a new business venture that sounded suspiciously illegal. Ben didn’t hesitate. He knew he didn’t want to support or be associated with unethical or illegal actions. He declined to help, making it clear that he couldn’t be part of anything that went against his principles.
Ben’s ethical process not only defined who he helped but also how he helped. It became a compass that guided his interactions, ensuring that his assistance was meaningful and constructive. He knew an awful lot of information but also understood that this knowledge alone didn’t make him the best person to help in every situation. By recognising his limits and setting boundaries, Ben was able to make a positive impact on the lives he touched, without compromising his values or well-being.
P.S. Ben also understood that not everyone who asked for help needed help. They just wanted someone to listen to them.
