You will respond to danger through flight, freeze, or flight. However, you may never know why you respond the way you do because it’s driven by instinct and intuition. Please enjoy Ben’s story about how his response changed depending on the situation.
Ben’s three responses
Ben had always thought of himself as someone who handled pressure well. But as life threw different challenges his way, he discovered that his reactions varied depending on the situation.
Fight
One summer evening, Ben found himself walking home through the quiet streets of his neighbourhood. The air was warm, and he was lost in thought, thinking about the presentation he had to give the next day at work. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him, quickening as they approached.
Turning around, he saw two figures emerging from the shadows, their faces hidden under dark hoodies. “Hey, man, got a light?” one of them asked, but the tone was anything but friendly.
Ben’s heart raced, but instead of backing down, something inside him snapped. His hands clenched into fists, and his posture stiffened. “I don’t smoke,” he replied sharply, stepping forward instead of retreating. “And I don’t have anything for you.”
The figures exchanged glances, momentarily taken aback by Ben’s defiant stance. For a few tense seconds, they stared each other down. Then, as if deciding it wasn’t worth the effort, the figures backed off, muttering something under their breath before disappearing into the night.
Ben’s pulse was still racing, but he felt a surge of pride. He had faced down a threat, and they had backed off.
Freeze
A few months later, Ben was in his car, driving through a torrential downpour. The rain hammered against the windshield, and visibility was almost zero. He was on a narrow country road, with no streetlights to guide him. Suddenly, a flash of movement caught his eye, and in a split second, a deer jumped onto the road, directly in front of his car.
Panic shot through Ben, and his mind went blank. Instead of swerving or hitting the brakes, his hands locked on the steering wheel, and his foot froze on the gas pedal. For what felt like an eternity, time seemed to stand still. The car hurtled forward, and the world narrowed down to the figure of the deer and the impending impact.
At the very last moment, the deer bolted across the road and vanished into the trees. The car skidded slightly as Ben regained control, but the danger had passed. Shaking, he pulled over to the side of the road, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His entire body was trembling, and he couldn’t understand why he had been unable to react.
It took him several minutes to calm down enough to continue driving, and for the rest of the night, the memory of freezing in that critical moment haunted him.
Flight
The final response came on a cold winter’s day when Ben’s boss called him into the office. The company had been going through some rough times, and rumours of layoffs had been circulating for weeks. Ben had tried to stay optimistic, but the tension in the office was palpable.
As he sat down, his boss looked at him with a grave expression. “Ben, I’m sorry to say this, but we’re going to have to let you go. It’s nothing personal, just the company restructuring.”
Ben didn’t hear the rest of the explanation. A wave of dread washed over him, and all he could think about was how he needed to get out of that room and preferably out of that building. The walls felt like they were closing in on him, and his chest tightened as panic set in.
Without saying a word, he stood up abruptly, barely acknowledging his boss’s words. “I need to… I need to go,” Ben mumbled, almost stumbling as he made his way to the door. The moment he was out of the office, he broke into a run, not stopping until he was outside in the freezing air, gasping for breath.
Ben leaned against a lamppost, his breath visible in the cold air. He had fled. He had walked away from the confrontation, unable to face it. But as he stood there, the initial panic began to subside, replaced by a sense of clarity. He would figure things out—just not in that moment.
Reflection
Later that night, Ben sat alone in his apartment, replaying the three events in his mind. He had fought, frozen, and fled—all in different situations. It made him realise that there wasn’t a single way to respond to life’s challenges. Each situation had brought out a different side of him, a different instinct.
He wasn’t ashamed of any of his reactions. Instead, he understood that they were all part of who he was—an instinctive, intuitive human being, shaped by the circumstances around him. And no matter what life threw his way next, he knew he would respond in whatever way he felt was right at that moment. And that, he decided, was perfectly okay.
P.S. Everybody responds to danger in their own way.
