In a perfect world, people wouldn’t need external validation. They would learn to be impressed with their own opinion of themselves, but that’s not reality. From the moment children learn to walk and talk, their motivation for anything is praise from the people they admire. Firstly, it’s their parents, and as they grow, it becomes their teachers, friends, and eventually peers and society at large. In time, you’d hope they’d grow beyond the need for external validation, but that’s highly dependent upon each individual’s journey of self-discovery.
Of course, seeking external validation can have positive consequences as long as it leads to self-discovery and internal growth. Please enjoy Ben’s journey to discover that truth.
Ben’s story.
Ben Turner had always been a quiet, reserved guy. He spent most of his high school years in the background, unnoticed by the popular crowd, with his nose buried in a book or sketching in his worn-out notebook. He was smart, creative, and thoughtful, but these qualities rarely earned him much attention from his peers. He was content, or so he thought, with his small circle of close friends and the quiet life he led.
Things changed in college. Ben found himself in a new environment, surrounded by people who seemed to have it all—confidence, charm, and a magnetic presence that drew others to them. It was in his sophomore year that Ben first noticed Sarah, a girl who seemed to float through life effortlessly. She was everything he wasn’t: outgoing, well-dressed, and always at the center of attention. Ben admired her from afar, but he knew someone like Sarah would never notice someone like him.
Then, one day, something unexpected happened. Ben overheard Sarah talking with her friends, discussing an upcoming talent show. She mentioned offhandedly how much she admired people who had unique talents, especially those who could play the guitar. Ben didn’t play the guitar, but he could draw, and he suddenly felt a surge of motivation to be noticed by her. For the first time, he felt a deep desire to step out of the shadows.
Ben decided to learn the guitar. He spent hours each day practising, his fingers aching as he struggled through the basics. It wasn’t easy, and there were times when he wanted to quit, but the thought of impressing Sarah kept him going. The hours turned into weeks, and soon, Ben could play a few simple songs. But he didn’t stop there. He began to write his own music, pouring his heart into each note. His progress was slow, but it was steady.
Months passed, and the talent show approached. Ben had grown more confident, not just in his playing but in himself. He noticed that he was standing taller, speaking louder, and engaging more with others. He even started dressing a little better, paying more attention to his appearance. It wasn’t just about Sarah anymore—Ben was beginning to like this new version of himself.
The night of the talent show arrived. Ben was nervous, his hands trembling as he waited backstage. When it was his turn, he walked out under the bright lights, the audience a blur of faces. He spotted Sarah in the crowd, sitting with her friends, and took a deep breath. He strummed the first chord, and the music flowed through him. For the first time, Ben felt truly alive, not because he was trying to impress anyone, but because he was doing something he loved.
When he finished, the applause was overwhelming. Ben felt a rush of pride and accomplishment. After the show, Sarah approached him, complimenting his performance. They talked for a while, and though Ben was thrilled by her attention, he realised something important: he didn’t need her validation anymore. The real victory was the transformation he had undergone—the shy, reserved boy had grown into a confident, skilled young man.
In the following years, Ben continued to play the guitar, but he also returned to his first love: art. He merged his passions, creating album covers, designing posters, and even starting a small business. He became someone people admired, not because he was trying to impress anyone, but because he had found his true self along the way.
Looking back, Ben realised that his initial motivation to impress Sarah had set him on a path of self-discovery and growth. It didn’t matter that the person he had tried to impress might not have been worth it. What mattered was that the journey had led him to become someone he was proud of. And that was worth everything.
