I created this post for my daughters, but please, share it with your daughters, too.
You Are Beautiful When You Feel Beautiful.
Beauty has very little to do with what you see in the mirror.
There is something I hope my daughters understand as they move through life.
You will probably spend far too much time wondering whether you look beautiful.
You’ll look in the mirror and notice the things you don’t like.
A little extra weight.
A tired face.
A spot that appeared at precisely the wrong moment.
Hair that refuses to cooperate.
A photograph where you think everyone else looks better than you.
And because we live in a world that has become remarkably good at convincing us that appearance is everything, you may sometimes believe that feeling beautiful requires looking beautiful.
It doesn’t.
In fact, the two things are almost completely different.
Feeling beautiful is a state of mind.
You can wake up in the morning, put on an old pair of clothes, have messy hair, no makeup, and feel absolutely wonderful.
You can laugh until your stomach hurts.
You can dance badly in the kitchen.
You can walk along the beach with the wind blowing through your hair.
You can accomplish something you thought you couldn’t.
You can help someone who needs you.
You can sit with people who make you feel completely comfortable being yourself.
And suddenly, without changing a single thing about your appearance, you feel beautiful.
That’s because beauty isn’t always something you look like.
Sometimes, it’s something you feel like.
And I think that’s one of the great secrets of growing older.
The more comfortable you become with yourself, the less interested you become in constantly measuring yourself against everyone else.
You begin to realise that your face was never the problem.
Your body was never the problem.
The photograph was never the problem.
The problem was believing that your worth could somehow be measured by them.
There will always be someone younger.
Someone thinner.
Someone taller.
Someone with clearer skin.
Someone with different features.
Someone who photographs better.
Someone whose life appears more perfect on Instagram.
If you make beauty a competition, you have entered a competition you can never win.
Because there will always be someone who appears to have something you don’t.
But there is something nobody else can compete with.
Being completely, unapologetically yourself.
Your kindness.
Your humour.
Your intelligence.
Your courage.
Your curiosity.
The way you make people feel.
The way you laugh.
The way you love.
The things you believe in.
The mistakes you’ve survived.
The experiences that have shaped you.
The person you are becoming.
Those things don’t appear in a mirror.
And yet they are the things that make you beautiful.
So, my girls, don’t spend your lives trying to look beautiful.
Spend your lives doing things that make you feel beautiful.
Surround yourself with people who make you laugh.
Go places that make you feel alive.
Learn things that make you curious.
Do things that scare you.
Be kind when you don’t have to be.
Stand up for yourself when you need to.
Fall in love.
Have adventures.
Make mistakes.
Change your mind.
Grow.
And occasionally do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.
Because one day you’ll look back and realise something that took me many years to understand.
The best version of you was never the one who looked the best.
It was the one who felt most alive.
And perhaps that is what beauty really is.
Not a face.
Not a body.
Not a number on a scale.
Not a photograph.
Not somebody else’s opinion.
Just the quiet feeling that, for this moment, at least, you are completely comfortable being you.
And when you feel that way, you don’t need anyone else to tell you that you’re beautiful.
You already know.
